Sheep happens.

Monday, July 14, 2008

......

Stars

Maybe I've been the problem, maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself, the outcome feels the same
I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy, maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast, and maybe all my lucks washed down the drain
I've been thinking 'bout everyone, everyone, you look so lonely

But when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars I see someone else
When I look at the stars,the stars, I feel like myself
Stars looking at our planet watching entropy and pain
And maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives could pass as sane
I've been thinking bout the meaning of resistance, of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent begin to look like home
I've been thinking bout everyone, everyone, you look so empty

But when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars I see someone else
When I look at the stars, the stars,
I feel like myself
everyone, everyone, we feel so lonely
everyone, yeah everyone, we feel so empty
When I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars I feel like myself
When I look at the stars, the stars,
I see someone...

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I really feel like I could be hospitalized anytime. I don't know why my body produces such a reaction every single time I have to pitch in harsh conditions, especially yesterday. The repercussions have never been so severe before, and I'm wondering whether I'm having some kind of brain problem, because it really hurts so bad I couldn't even sleep properly last night. It seemed alright when I woke up this morning, but somehow it started again when I was on the bus, all the way till now. From 6.40am to 9.30am and counting. Severe headache.

Things seem disturbingly stagnant at the moment, and I'm wondering why it always has to revert to the same old worries and the same old problems that I should have conquered years ago.

They say the power of the mind knows no bounds. They say the limits of humankind can never be found. There's bound to be someone in this world who starts to push the boundaries, and that someone is, a human. A human just like you and me. If another human can do it, why can't we?

Why can't we be the change that we want to see?

Why do people speak endlessly of changing the world, but they barely ever speak of changing themselves?

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I have failed countless times, fallen prey to the schemes of the Evil One, but is it all within His plan? Is human sin predetermined, so as to lead us to the right path? Is predestination a truth? I need a key to unravel this paradox. God knows all our thoughts, our actions, every single whim of the heart. If He knows our every thought, and if He knows everything that we're going to do and everything that is going to happen to us, would it not mean that all our sins and failures are within His plans for us?

Maybe I shouldn't be figuring this out.

Interesting reads:

For predestination
http://www.mslick.com/predestination.htm
http://www.mslick.com/allmen.htm
http://www.the-highway.com/articleAug02.html

Against predestination:
http://www.infidels.org/library/historical/thomas_paine/predestination.html
http://people.cis.ksu.edu/~bbp9857/calvinism.html