Sheep happens.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Smile.

R5 of 10 points. No L1 yet. Should I be sad or happy? I've more than halved my L1R5 of prelim 2, but am I satisfied?

NO.

First thing, I still lost to Gaw. Bleh. He's half of my score. Guess he'll be my schoolmate (maybe classmate) next year. Depends on whether he wants to go.

Anyway, who cares? Just smile and go on with life, no matter what happens. I find that problems just sublime when you smile. Not to say that it makes your life much more colourful.

When you smile, you see the better side of everything. You begin to take notice of the wonders which we fail to see normally. You see the beauty of the trees around; you feel the freshness of the air as you breathe; you hear the beautiful sounds of life; you taste that awesome meal.

As for me, I begin to look for stars. Just a weird habit.

Every night I would look up to the heavens, hoping to find the glitter of a star in the midst of the darkness. For six days running, I have not seen a star. Sad. Whenever I see a star, though, I would smile. Why? I honestly do not know, but somehow seeing stars up there in the sky empowers me. Maybe I'm an alien, Star=power source. Who knows?

On days when I cannot see stars, though, I still smile when I look up into the sky. I may not be able to see the stars in the sky, but I am certain that they are up there somewhere.

So it is with life. Not only should you smile and give thanks when good things happen to you. God works in ways we cannot see, and even though the future seems bleak, smile and give thanks.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked will I depart.
The LORD gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised"

This verse has given me "enlightenment" indeed. For what does it matter if a friend does not accept your friendship? Love anyway. Still treat them as your friends, even when they do not see you as one. Care for them; pray for them. Keep smiling.

For true love is unconditional. The love between friends; the love between family members; anything. Unconditional giving of what you have.

After all, you are just a short-lived candle. Your fire would be extinguished one day, but at least you've spread it to others. What are you? Your days on Earth are numbered, so why not make each day count?

So everyone out there reading this, please. Begin to love everyone around you.

What if tomorrow never comes? Would you have any regrets?

I am praying for you.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Are we there yet?

The pre-war preparations are still ongoing, but what I am sure of is that the pre-war battle simulation has come to a conclusion.

War.

Such an appropriate topic to compare the O's with.

Well, if you have yet to figure out, the "pre-war battle simulation" was my prelims. Let's describe the situation I am in now.

Three major battles have been fought, two of them I have bitterly lost. For this last battle though, I have a very different feeling. Minor skirmishes have yielded results far greater than expected, and even though the outcome of the battle is yet to be known, I know I am running a good race.

What with my Chemistry jumping from F9 (35 marks) to a B3 (68 marks). Even so, I am still inferior compared to the others. Moreover, I have lost every battle against Leon Gaw, with the exception of a one mark lead in the Social Studies structured essays.

I am appalled by those people who do Chemistry with such ease, its like me doing "E" Maths. Leon Gaw achieved 88 marks for his chemistry prelims. Guess what.

That is exactly what I got for "E" Maths. Worse still, he beat me in "E" Maths too.

My target, yes, my target, is to beat Leon Gaw. No matter what happens, even if it means having to sleep 5 hours a day just to get that edge over him, I will do it.

Not because I hate losing to Gaw. It is because I look up to him. I want to be like him.

Well, only in terms of diligence and the hunger for success.

Thus, I declare a state of emergency. Not like the one in Thailand, though. This is MY kind of emergency. From today on, I will put in all I have to run this final lap.

Not as if I have not been doing so for the past few months.

Even so, I would like to thank all the people who were there to guide and encourage me. Teachers, friends, study buddies (I made a rhyme!), anyone. Even Mother Theresa. I know it sounds funny, me thanking Mother Theresa, but her words were what kept me going. Her words prevented me from throwing the love of humanity and religion aside. She stopped me from letting my life fall into the hands of just pure mugging, without the accompaniment of joy and satisfaction from what I do.

I love studying. How I wish I would not need to grow up.

Please, though. I know this may be going through your head right now but NO.

I know I want to keep studying but I won't retain.

P.S. thanks to Princess Gladwei for the lovely time I had, all the best!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

...

I thought I'd take this opportunity to sneak an update in, right in between my exams. Thank goodness I have no bio today.

Well, exams are here, and this particular exam represents my final shot at redeeming myself. I had two shots before this, but I guess I was too preoccupied with my little problems to be able to concentrate much on studies. Trust me though, this prelims will see a jump in grades; at least for me.

Math paper 1, Social Studies, English, Geography paper 2, Physics.

So far, nearly half the battle has been fought, and I am confident that at least for this half my marks have certainly improved from the previous preliminary examinations. We'll just have to wait until the results come out.





















For now, I am still pondering upon what has happened during the mission conference. I had heard God's calling, but what am I? I am merely a student who cannot escape from his responsibilities. How am I supposed to go to other lands to spread His word and show His love? At times like these I find myself bound by the chains thrusted upon me by this cruel society. God help me.

Show me the path.

When we are told to be the salt and the light of this world, have you ever noticed that salt and light are both silent in nature?

We have to show by example, by our actions. It is of much more significance than to preach His word that we live a live worthy to be called the "True Christian Life".

Brothers and Sisters, be encouraged today, that the Lord our God has given us this opportunity for us to show His love to others. May you all be strengthened and may you all also find comfort in loving others, for love is the greatest gift a human could give.

I am praying for you all.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

One-day break

Just for your information, in case you were not aware of it, I have just come back from a one-day trip to batam.

This, more or less, is my first ever one-day holiday to any destination. Guess what I brought along with me to Batam.

Books, worksheets and homework!

Well, not as if I really touched them in Batam. I had left all the work to be done on the ferry ride back to Singapore, and I did. It was all dark and stuff on board the ferry as it was at night, and the boat kept rocking while I was trying to explain the formation of fold mountains.

Life in Batam surely felt different from life in Singapore. I do not know why, but it just felt a lot different. Even though life in Singapore is very organized and orderly, life in Batam was an entirely different experience. It felt as if a heavy load had been taken off my shoulders. Being there made me more relaxed.

On Tuesday evening, just after I reached my home - a church- I had played four consecutive hours of table tennis without taking any breaks. Not having played for ages, I lost to my dad over and over again, but finally I beat him after a few tries. After dad left I played with the youth group there. It was not too bad. I won every match played, but it was decidedly very exhausting.

I realised that these youths were very different from the youths in Singapore. I do not know why, but I can just feel it. They were more... sincere? Hmm.

Oh yeah.

Guess what I brought back.

Information shall not be disclosed in fear of the blog-checking authorities.

Anyway, the "Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier" thing. It works. Not only has it brightened up my life, but I am sure it has in one way or another affected the lives of the people around me. I am going to keep at it, and I do hope that you would be affected by it too!

Here's a poem, pardon me for the ancient English but I personally feel that it expresses the meaning of the poem better. Obviously I wrote it, so thy shalt pardon me for any awkward usage or misuse of words or phrases. Enjoy it (= poem not copyrighted.

Love,
Such a strange existence, aye.
Thy mind it binds when unwary,
But nay couldst it be found,
When thou searches for its all-elusive form.

Thus love,
Thou canst only rely on,
By thyself loving others around.
Not relying on fate to decide thy destiny,
Not relying on the love of others to live.
Thou creates love by thyself.

Love thy neighbour as thyself,
For there is nothing more precious than love.
Wealth and treasures, nay.
The beginning of love is a smile,
Thou canst only hope,
Hope that it ends with a smile, aye.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Number One Hundred

Firstly, I have to apologize for having left the internet community for such an extended duration. Well, not as if anybody misses me, right? So that apology is rendered invalid, but sorry anyway.

Secondly, I have to say sorry to myself for being unable to restrain myself from using the computer. Having written too much in my diary, I - regretfully- had this urge to blog. So, here I am; fresh from breaking another promise I have made myself. I guess it would not hurt to blog a bit during the holidays, would it? After all, I've been working all day.

If you're wondering how my life has been going - if anyone ever does- here is a whole list of things I have been doing, complete with elaboration.

1. Yes you guessed it! Study! Chuckles. I have been studying almost all the time and almost everywhere? On the bus, at tuition, on the mrt, in McDonalds, at home, in the kitchen, in bed, whatever. I even dreamt about the O's. You name it, I've done it. Well, maybe except for the toilet. I have even studied overnight all the way till 4 am; which sadly led to much nagging by my mum. For my own good, I know. Sadly, I still have voluminous stacks of examination papers to complete. Sigh.

2. SING!! Yeah you heard it (more like read it) right! Singing! I love singing, even though people don't particularly love hearing me sing. Chuckles. Love songs mostly, because I love love songs- no pun intended- and I sing them love songs all the time. Well, not all the time, that's a hyperbole. Almost all the time. Whatever songs, from Don Moen to Jay Chou to Westlife, I sing! In fact, I would most probably be singing something right now as you read this. Oops. I just went off-tune. Laughs.

3. Basketball. Yeah, basketball. All thanks to KH I have been playing basketball regularly, and it actually is a lot of fun!

Hmmm.

Nothing is coming.

4. Being emo. EMO! rahr. Is it the stress or what? I've been unusually moody these few days. Well, actually I know the reason to my so-called emo-ness, but no one would understand; or care to understand anyway. Therefore I have decided to leave the reason out of this blog, or very soon this blog would be what it was before. Pure emo. Hah.

5. Thinking. Yes, thinking. You read it right. You know, sometimes we live empty lives. We live without thinking. We live without realizing how fortunate we are to be living in a community where people do care about us. Loneliness, many times have I fallen into its deathlike grip, but has anyone ever thought of the clutches love as something even remotely deathlike? Believe me, love hurts. Love hurts so much.

Love hurts, but love anyway.

Mother Theresa once said,
"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."

That, is what I plan to do. For true love is unconditional.

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted. The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.

I myself have been a victim of this unloving world, and therefore I seek to change that. I aspire to change the world, and I am going to begin with everyone around me. No matter what the circumstance may be, I will try my very best to bring happiness to people around.

Let this be my offering to You, and my gift to everyone around.

Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. So share that smile with the people around! You never know how that small gesture would affect someone!

That's it for now. Ciao people.

Post No. 100 .. Let love's message spread..