Sheep happens.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Take It or Leave It.

I, a lone warrior going against an army. I, a violinist attempting to outshine an orchestra. I, a mere ant struggling to bring an elephant down. I, a man desperate to defy the laws of Physics. I, a martyr of faith striving to change the world.

The sidewalk looked as desolate as ever, as the immaculate celestial bodies shimmered with dispiriting intensity. My feet felt debilitated as I slowed my pace, my spirits tumbling down from its pedestal within an instant. My feet could not carry me anymore as I fell to the ground, my all seeking hiatus from the agonizing present. Purpose no longer dwelled in me, banished from my inner being in the matter of seconds, only to be replaced with Helplessness and Grief. What was I helpless against? What was I grieving over? I knew the answers deep down, but choosing Denial was the easier way out.

Helplessness dwelled within me, and I sought Help. He could not bail me out of this predicament.

Grief inhabited my soul, and I shought Happiness. He could convince Grief to leave my abode.

In truth I knew that I was the obstacle to my eventual felicity, I knew it deep down but I could not do anything about it. Denial pushed me to the ground with a smirk on his face; he knew I could not face the truth. He knew that in truth anyone could bail me out of this predicament, but I was the large part of the predicament. I was my foe and I was my own impediment, but that was just the way things were. Plans to banish Denial from within soon blossomed within me.

To dethrone Denial, I needed Courage. Courage shunned me, because He knew of my cowardice and flaws.

To dethrone Denial, I needed Self-respect. Self-respect disowned me, for He knew all of my shameless deeds.

The plan was failing through and through, floundering like a finless shark in the crushing depths of the unforgiving sea. Desperation knocked umpteen times on my door, but I ignored His call. He, however, did not cease to call on my door. I searched and the answer was all-elusive. There was no way I could find it, unless the Answer comes knocking at my door.

Lo and behold, Hope came knocking first and I let Him stay in me, for He brought me an unceasing river of possibilities. I could not give up while Hope was still within the inner reaches of my soul.

Determination and Integrity came next, hand in hand, working within me with all their might. Hope was strengthened, and I felt strong. Stronger than ever before, but not invincible.

The job was completed through Love. Love brought me to face the truth and accept myself for who I am and what I have done. Love brought me to face my past.

So here I am, bare and trodden. This is what I am. Take it or leave it.