Sheep happens.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Cast in Stone Crutches

Oh stoopidy doodly crap. Somehow I managed to get myself another major injury, the second one in two years, and this one left me unable to walk. All the time spent at home either wasting myself away on the computer or doing nothing.

Amazing how immobility leaves you feeling almost entirely powerless. You have to walk around with the help of crutches, you can't sit around without propping your leg up, and you can't even bathe standing up. It's such a bother. The worst thing is when your mother tells you to stop using the computer. How am I supposed to spend my time like that? I can't read 70% of my time away, and I draw with the aid of the computer. For now, the computer's like my third leg, the only thing that's keeping me in contact with the rest of the world. Of course, the phone is another useful tool I have, but who in the world messages me?

It is at these times that I wonder what the future holds. Suppose a fire starts next door and spreads over, what is my escape plan? (Oh crap I have to think of a plan) It's like being trapped in prison, where the other inmates (people like my brother, although he is being locked up in a different cell called 'A' levels) come and go freely. I'm the only one trapped in the miserable cell without a key... Can't help feeling useless, can't help feeling abandoned, can't help being envious of others, can't stand the fact that my mobility is lost for now. Mobility means a lot to someone like me.

Sports, movement, action. All these I had at my disposal just a few days ago.

And now its 4-8 weeks away...

Oh well. I am not one to ask for pity. If I am going to spend my month away not even getting to see a friend, so be it. I, for one, do not deny weakness though. It does get lonely sometimes...

Saw this set of lyrics somewhere (don't ask me where), found it really moving.

Don't Laugh at Me

I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep

I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm the cripple on the corner
You've passed me on the street
And I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think I don't notice
That our eyes never meet

I lost my wife and little boy when
Someone crossed that yellow line
The day we laid them in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind
And right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign...so

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall
I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

Just remembering the scenes in my mind where people laughed at those in pain, or those who are less privileged than them. If the world learnt just this value, so much suffering would disappear from the face of the Earth today.

I'm just glad that I still have some mobility. Maybe someone could take me out to a movie or something (an activity that does not require standing. Oh! Kbox o.O) .. For those who read "Tuesdays with Morrie" out there, yes I can still wipe my bottom.

I'm in bed but I'm not dead. Enough for now though. Do a good deed everyday you.