Sheep happens.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

pain and suffering; forgive and forget.

It takes a hen to make an egg, and it takes an egg to make a hen. I'm not delving into the age-old secular debate of "which one came first" (evidence from the Bible points to the fact that animals were made as they were, which places the hen at the top of the podium), but instead I am using it as an analogy of what I have learnt from all the troubles I went through.

Without pain, you would not know how lucky you are to be unhurt; without suffering you would not even know bliss. For what is life without suffering, people say, and I now truly understand their sentiments exactly.

Pain and suffering are decidedly not very pleasant when inflicted upon the body, mind and spirit. In fact, we humans would do anything to escape pain; anaesthetics, for example, not that it has done us much disservice, though. I'm just proving my point. Pain is an integral part of the human's life, but yet we are willing to go to great lengths just to avoid it.

I now feel a sense of relief, for I have tided over my doubts and worries. I have come to a realization that even though I have been through much unhappiness, I am still blessed. Many people would willingly step into my shoes. Studying in a prestigious school, being able to participate competitively in sports and having a number of friends who really would try to listen. It pains me how reality is so cruel, and it also pains me that sometimes I am unable to appreciate the things I have.

The Lord freely gives and freely He takes away. In fact, I have more to life now than what I have had previously. Wonderful experiences and memories, they would stay, but sometimes it is just so painful to live in the present.

I find a lack of people who try to understand, actually. Sometimes they are just so self-centred and too busy trying to show off to give a damn about others' feelings, and I am not the only victim. I find it truly saddening, really, how education can bring a person thus far, and yet reduce the person into a monster, albeit one who looks like a human. Subject to fads and highly superficialist, these monsters deceive others by putting on a mask, while on the other hand viciously devouring the victims limb by limb. The victims, on the other hand, have to suffer in silence because of them.

One day, these monsters might just realize how stupid they were to have allowed themselves to be transformed, and it would have been to late then. I am sure that God is fair, and these people would get their just punishments accordingly. They blame anything on anyone but themselves, and yet they do not allow themselves to be blamed. They think they are a class above the rest. They think that the world is at their feet and others have to listen to them. I won't.

Other people are just plain inferior. Or so they think.

It is hard to forgive these people for what they have done and what they are doing at present, and it also is hard to forget their deeds, those words which cut like a knife.

Giving up on them is not an option.