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Josiah

18 July 1990 :)
ATS-CH-HCI-???
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Saturday, March 03, 2007

Fall apart! I want to build a new one with God!

I guess the new chapter hasn't really begun yet. I am still in the process of crushing this stupid structure into a million little pieces, and I am making good progress. I certainly will defenestrate a piece of it when I'm done, for this ultimate buffoon of a structure has caused me enough trouble already.

It is the start of something totally new, and I picked this path. Its feels surreal, almost like I'm being born again as a totally different person. I know I can do it, and I will do it. It is such a beautiful thing, to be able to utilize this newfound confidence in God and myself. For why should I suffer silently? It was killing me, and yet I was doing nothing about it.

I read from "Our Journey" (Mar.Apr.May 2007 March 2nd "driving over a cliff") about dealing with the problems in life. I realized how true it was, and how important it was for me to take hold of life's steering wheel. I thank God that I am holding that steering wheel right now and driving myself away from the edge of that cliff which I so nearly drove into.

Feeling especially peaceful and accomplished now. I have done something for myself. I have achieved. I will do my best, and God will do the rest, whatever it may be.

And if I stand,
Firm to this day,
Nay it is by my strength,
Nor it is by my greatness.
Its all because of Love,
Its all because of You.
Helpless would I be,
Unable to stand firm,
Thank you, Love.