Sheep happens.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Crap.

This is a direct apology to whoever it may concern or will be concerned, because I am presently in such a miserable, commiserable state and I will certainly offend some people along the way.

I am being severely affected by a few major problems presently (and probably in the future too), and these problems would seriously cause me to be more unstable. Really. If I wasn't such a loser I would probably be thinking of ways to solve these problems, but I AM A LOSER so I'm here dirtying my blog with another dose of immaturity and stupidity.

Here I am, giving my life away to a cause which certainly would be lost, desperate for a glimpse of hope. I am dedicating my fucking life and what does everyone else do? Sit around doing nothing? My love for the game has brought me thus far, but what good would it do? I am but another chess piece. What the hell can a pawn do against one whole freaking chessboard? Screw it. I'd be better off quitting training if the others aren't putting their effort in. Team game, my ass.

Hwachong... I don't know. I never really expected it to be this way. The people around, the routines, the life... I just simply find it hard to fit in. I keep pretending that I'm fine, but I am seriously having lots of problems with life in Hwachong. I cannot cope, I cannot relax, I cannot live life the way I used to, I am not able to achieve self-fulfilment. I may be able to accomplish many things, but no, I will not feel satisfaction.

I certainly hope that I am the only one in school who feels this way, because it would be such a pitiful state to be in.

In the end, it's me again, taking all the shit.